Researchers Unearth Pedes

Zippe-Tron researchers have just discovered new forms of “pedes”. The ‘Wantapede’ is a giant worm-like creature approximately 12 inches in length by 3 inches diameter. Their only food source is the poisonous Jungle Apple only found in southeastern Wisconsin. Wantapedes are generally harmless and tend to stay away from human contact.

Its larger cousin the ‘Gogopede’ is vicious. The gogopede measures approximately 18-19 inches in length by 5 inches diameter. Gogopedes are strictly carnivorous eating only the cereal TRIX, plantains or Cluver’s brand yellow wieners.

If you see a gogopede eating your Trix do not panic. They can smell fear and will be provoked into attacking. The large horn on their back is used for defensive as well as offensive attacks.

If you spot a gogopede it is likely your home is infested with gogopedes. Gogopedes are social creatures and tend to live in packs of 20-30. The best way to rid your home of gogopede infestation is to purchase Zippe-Tron brand gogopede eater.

Questions on wantapedes, gogopedes or this article e-mail pedeproblems@zippetron.com.