Virus Trifecta

ZippeTron Times has recently comes across new information (BREAKING NEWS as of March 15, 2020) that there is a global pandemic going on around the globe. To get more information ZippeTron Times, herein referred to as ZTT or just ZT2, consulted ZippeTron’s lead head of ministerial duties and accusational transactions, Corporal Fixodent.

“Through the use of ZippeTron’s large cybernetic, technologically advanced renovative and transformative, artificially intelligent super computers we have ascertained that the world is being plagued worldwide by three (3) viruses… This is NOT a drill. It is a global epidemic of global proportions and on a global scale, globally.” -Cpl. Fixodent

The three viruses that are gonna kill us all are as follows:

1. Wuhan Virus
2. Coronavirus
3. COVID-19

Reports are coming in that these three viruses are all equally deadly, equally contagious, and ironically all three seem to strategically infect the same people simultaneously, suggesting these three viruses are highly advanced and are communicating with each other.

While there is no cure and no hope, residents and people are urged to stockpile stuff and prepare for a global hibernation of anywhere between 3-5 years due to the extremely threatening, unprecedented nature of these three viruses and their offspring.

ZT2 reminds residents and people to remain calm 🙂